Blanksgiving

For the first Thanksgiving in several years, I have nothing much to report. Everyone showed up (well, except for my brother who was with his girlfriend's family), there were no oven breakdowns, the turkey was defrosted, all the timing of the food came out perfectly. We had spiked cider and pumpkin cheesecake and played games. There was no drama, nobody locked their keys in their car, nobody was fighting. With the exception of having my entire family with me, I couldn't have written it any better. And Helena and I were just perfect together... in our matching aprons.

Making Christmas Lists

It's that time of year... for kids to ask for everything they see in every commercial on the planet for the next month. When I was a kid, I was a victim of the crazed greed and desire, much like today's youth. So much so, I would – just like Helena does – ask everybody for the same thing. Probably why I ended up with three copies of the Pound Puppies game when I was seven. Everyone just wants to make the kids happy.

While Helena is no exception to this rule, and has requested the same presents from roughly 20 people, she is not immune to generosity. The other night, as I was cooking dinner, potentially complaining about the innumerable amount of tasks awaiting completion once my break was over (yes, dinner is my break). My sweet, little Hellcat retorts with, "You know, Mom... it's the time of year where you can ask for anything you want. Like, maybe you want a robot. He could cook for you... and clean the house... and do all the stuff you don't want to, so we could play Little Big Planet... You just ask Santa and he'll give it to you. You've been good."

Now, thanks to her I've got 'house-cleaning, meal-cooking, errand-running robot' topping my Christmas list. Cmonnnnnnnn, Santa!

This year, we got a real tree for the first time since I was a kid. I forgot what it was like to walk through the lots and smell all that fresh pine. We found the most awkward, green, leaning, Dr. Seuss-esque tree we could and knew it was meant to be. After many struggles to get the slanting tree to stand as upright as possible without falling over, we finally won the battle.

We hung ornaments last night, while listening to the Christmas music Helena has insisted be the only thing playing for the past two weeks. (Jordon commented how he liked Feliz Navidad, and I told him to give it a couple more days and he wouldn't.) As we decorated the tree, the three of us discussed how odd it must be from the tree's perspective.

"First, they cut me down and take me away from my family. Then, they lean me against a fence in a parking lot where all these strange people come to feel my branches. Sheesh, buy a guy a drink first! I get wrapped in plastic netting, tied to the top of a car, and see my life flash before my eyes as I slide around during the blistery drive. I get screwed into a stand, where I'll get only enough water to keep me alive another month or so, and they put all this godforsaken crap on me. All this tinsel is itchy and some of these ornaments are really heavy."

But thankfully, trees can't talk so we don't have to feel guilty about our silly traditions as humans. Besides, he's only got another month to live.

My Kid is Cooler than Your Kid...

because she makes up animals like the Cat-Ladybug-Beaver. Beat that!

Helena-ism 314

Me: "I can't believe they're already playing Christmas music on the radio! It's not even Thanksgiving yet."

Helena: "Well, there's no Thanksgiving music, Mom."

You got me there, Helena.

It's Sometimes Sunny in San Diego

Thankfully, we agreed to move our Sea World trip up a day to Friday for fear of the weather predictions. Turns out it was the best decision ever because we had an amazing, sunny day at Sea World on Friday – we were even able to sit in the Splash Zone. Saturday... well, that was another story. It rained most of the morning, but that didn't deter us from enjoying ourselves. We powered through the constant stream, meandering through the quaint shops of Seaport Village. We tried on silly hats, ate lunch at a pizza parlor on the edge of the water, splashed in the puddles (there's a video down there with proof), shared yummy hot cocoa, and played giant checkers in a coffeeshop/bookstore. All in all, it was a surprisingly fun and mellow day. And even though it rained, the memories are bright and shiny.

We headed to Coronado Island (over that huge bridge in the photo above) on Sunday, since it was beautiful when we woke up. Even though we had a long drive back home, we got so caught up being near the ocean, we didn't head back to Arizona until around 5 in the evening. These are the kinds of moments we don't get to share often, and I'm appreciative for every second I got to spend with my two favorite people in the world. When we got home Sunday night (around 11), I tucked Helena into her bed and tears started to fall from her eyes. I asked her why she was sad and she replied, "I'm not. These are happy tears." And she gave me a huge smile and an equally big hug, then rolled over and fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

Helena-ism 313

Helena: "Mom, is Jordon a nerd because he was eating Nerds?"

Me: "You're eating nerds."

Helena: "I know."

My Kid is Cooler Than Your Kid...

... because she runs around the house singing "The Mariner's Revenge" by The Decemberists.

Helena-ism 312

In response to Oscar's incessant meowing:

"I need plugs to go in my ears. What are they called again? .... Ear muffins! I need some ear muffins, Mom."

Helena-ism 311

As I was opening her bookbag: "Beware of the smell in there."

A Sea World Surprise

After what seemed like forever in the car – and a whole lot of convincing that we were terribly lost – I was finally able to fulfill one of my long overdue promises to Helena and bring her to Sea World. We loaded up the car Thursday night, while she watched TV and we snuck the bags out the back door. As if it were any other night, I asked Helena what she wanted for dinner and her response was Subway. So, I told her to get her coat and shoes on and we would go get a sandwich. Once our tummies were full, we began our journey west.

It struck us as odd – that even though Subway is only a few blocks from our house, an hour had passed, and we were in the complete darkness of the desert – Helena never once asked where we were. Only until we were about two hours in, did she finally ask when we would be home. Jordon and I secretly laughed in the front seat and merely said, "Soon." When she didn't bat an eye as I handed her the portable DVD player to watch movies, I knew we were home free. About half-way through, we stopped at a gas station to fill up and "ask for directions". She was still none the wiser.

Even when we showed up in Newport Beach at my friend's apartment, she just assumed Aunt Michelle had moved back to Phoenix. And we needed to stop for the night to get some rest because we were just so horribly lost. The next morning, we caravanned down to San Diego, insisting that Aunt Michelle was going to show us the right way home. Even as we pulled off the exit, Helena cried "I just wanna go home!!!" Luckily, I was able to get the transition of her mood on video so you could witness it as well:




As you can see, she forgot all about her issues and couldn't be happier to get into the park. I'll spare you some details and show you more photos:

The highlight of the day (and the entire trip to her) was getting to play with the dolphins. We got to pet them and throw a frisbee in the water. One of the trainers even gave Helena a fish to feed him! This pulled her out of the extreme throws of depression once again when she was worried she wouldn't get to see what a dolphin feels like. Check out her masterful fish throw:

Helena-ism 310

Overheard while Helena was talking on the phone to her aunt about Jordon:

"I wish I could kick him, but my Mom won't let me."

Helena-ism 309

"Here, Mom. Drinking contest."

As she holds a glass of apple juice and hands me a beer.

Helena-ism 308

Jordon: "Look, his hand is all purple and swelled. Wait... not swelled. That is incorrect."

Helena (matter-of-factly): "Yea, swelled isn't even a word."

Helena-ism 307

"Am I a better whisperer now??"

After whispering in my ear at a reasonable volume, in response to a prior claim that Jordon made about Helena telling secrets too loudly for everyone to hear.

Our Couple's Costume

And in case anyone was interested in anything besides Helena (which I know you aren't), here is mine and Jordon's costume for this year.



Margot and Richie Tenenbaum from The Royal Tenenbaums <3

Our Haunted House

Helenoween

Apparently, Halloween is the new Christmas in our household. Bursting into our room at 5AM on Halloween morning, singing "I get to go Trick-or-Treating today" repeatedly has proven that. Then sleep-dancing in my bed for the next two hours, making it impossible for me to fall back asleep. Getting to that happy-go-lucky Trick-or-Treating point would prove to be a bit more challenging than I originally thought.

When I picked Helena up, she informed me she had to go to the bathroom really bad. After going to three places before someone finally had a bathroom we could use (and I got an attitude from a hairstylist dressed as a slutty {insert profession here} about how bathrooms were for customers only in a salon with no people), she got her Number 3 out of the way. Back in the car and on the road, I again had to convince her that she wasn't really the murderer from our costume party game (even though she was) while, through her tears she pleaded innocence and convinced me that "there's no way a kid could chop a man up to smithereens". Then dealing with the bloody nose she got, while sopping up blood in one of my sheets still in the backseat from the Beetlejuice movie night, while she sobbed about how she wasn't going to be able to go Trick-or-Treating and apologized for the blood on her dress and seat belt. All the while telling her, "It's all going to be alright." It was quite a hectic drive home.

But alas, we made it. Our new neighborhood couldn't get any better for Halloween – all the houses unique and creepy in their own rite. And I could describe everything to you in vivid detail, but why not just show you instead?


NEIGHBORHOOD HALLOWEEN PARADE










SCHOOL CARNIVAL










TRICK OR TREATING











Special thanks to my mom, the master seamstress, who makes Helena's unique costumes every year. She got a lot of compliments on this one!